A sad state of our nation

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The enormously popular talk show, ‘Berekete’ on Wazobia FM, Abuja, told the incredible-yet-true story of a hard-working and respected school teacher somewhere in Plateau State who hanged himself. He hadn’t been paid salary for seven straight months. He came home to find that no-one had eaten and two of the children had medical prescriptions for which there was no money. He sneaked out without talking to anyone. After a long while, news came home that he had strangely been caught with a stolen goat.
On his day in court, the teacher confessed to the offense. The reason he stole, he told the local judge, was that he hadn’t been paid for seven months and when he got home to see what he saw, he just couldn’t stand it. The judge allowed him to go home on bail on self-recognition given, as he said, the good impression the entire village had of the otherwise respected teacher. All were shocked to find his body dangling from a tree the morning after. He couldn’t live with the shame.

This is the sad reality of us as a nation where a father cannot feed and cloth his children, cannot afford to send his children to school, pay their hospital bills and other necessaries. No functional institutions, insurgency in the North-East, ethnic crisis in the North-Central, ravaging poverty in the North-West, kidnapping in the South- East, Oil theft in the South-South, and arm-robbery in the South-west. This is our sad reality as a nation.

I strongly believe for Nigeria to work, Nigerians must have an attitudinal change towards our fatherland. We must have a rethink and national consciousness. It was Nelson  Mandela that said “If God is angry with a people, he gives leadership to the worse of them”. I believe new Nigeria is possible where every Nigerian will be proud to call him/herself a Nigerian. But that new Nigeria can only be possible when we have the collective will to make this change a reality -through seeing ourselves as solution to Nigerian problem or by electing those who are willing, able and desirous to bring the desired change our country needs. WE ARE NOT THERE YET. BUT I BELIEVE WE ARE STILL NOT FAR. MAY GOD BLESS NIGERIA!!!

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The way you are

the way you are

One among many things I learnt from Dale Carnegie is that we must learn to appreciate our colleagues, friends and subordinates at work but most particularly to me, we must learn to appreciate and commend our spouses to remind them what they mean to us and how much we care about them.

In his book “How to win friends and influence people”, Carnegie told us a story of a member of one of his classes of a request made by his wife. She and a group of other women were involved in a self-improvement program. She asked her husband to help her by listening six things he believed she could do to help her become a better wife. He reported to the class that: ‘I was surprised by such a request. Frankly, it would have been easy for me to list the six things I would like to change about her – my heavens, she could have listed a thousand things she would like to change about me – but I didn’t. I said to her “Let me think about it and give you an answer in the morning.”

The next morning I got up early and called the florist and had them send six red roses to my wife with a note saying ‘I can’t think of six things I would like to change about you. I love you the way you are.’

‘When I arrived at home that evening, who do you think greeted me at the door: That’s right. My wife! She was almost in tears. Needless to say, I was extremely glad I had not criticized her as she had requested.’

‘The following Sunday, after she had reported the result of her assignment, several women with whom she had been studying came to me and said, “That was the most considerate thing I have ever heard.” It was then I realized the power of appreciation.’

Carnegie has reminded us of the importance of showing to people how we appreciate them for being them. All of us do have our flaws because we are imperfect but what we all need are people that would accept us just the way we are. Just as Maya Angelou opined “I am human and nothing human is alien to me.”

From Carnegie I also learnt that flattery is not always the best thing to do but its most preferable to show appreciation to such people. Forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise’ and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat over a lifetime – repeat them years after you have forgotten.

As long as we live, as long as we continue to exist, every day we strive to be better than we were yesterday. We learn to make improvements in ourselves for the betterment of ourselves, those close to us and the society general in order for us to better in whatever we want to be –to be a better son, husband, and father and in other spheres of lives as well. I do here by recommend the Dale Carnegie pill to all and sundry.

Happy International Youth day

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Happy International youth day. We have a huge task ahead of us to make this world a better place. We must unite to bring the desired change in our society needs.
My mentor Malcolm X said in (1964) that “We live in the time of extremism. They got to be a change. A better world has to be build and for it be build it, it must be with extreme measures and for one will join with anyone. I don’t care who you are and where are from as long as you want to change the miserable condition we find ourselves on this planet”.

What is love?

For all these months…

What is love?

If I cannot stimulate the same feelings in you

What is love?

If instead of around me, another place is better for you

What is love?

If after all this time, you are still not sure about us

What is love?

If there is still mutual distrust between us

What is love?

If I cannot expect the same efforts I’m investing from you as well

What is love?

If you don’t make me feel like I’ve a lady I can call mine and only lady

What is love?

If it’s obvious that I’m the only one doing all the loving

What is love?

If everything I do is to impress and make you happy, but you see the opposite only

What is love?

If you still cannot guaranty me your love

In the midst of my delusions, I still don’t know what love is…